Cherry Orchard by Anton Chekhov

Author:Anton Chekhov
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Nick Hern Books
Published: 2017-01-07T16:00:00+00:00

Act Three

The drawing-room, separated from the ballroom by an arch. It is evening, the chandelier is lit, and the Jewish band mentioned in Act Two can be heard playing in the hall. A ‘grand-rond’ is being danced in the ballroom, and PISHCHIK calls out, ‘Promenade à une paire!’ The dancers come into the drawing-room, with PISHCHIK and CHARLOTTA leading, followed by TROFIMOV and RANEVSKAYA, then ANYA and a post-office CLERK, VARYA and the STATIONMASTER, etc. VARYA is quietly crying, wiping away her tears as she dances. DUNYASHA is in the last pair, and as they pass through the drawing-room, PISHCHIK shouts: ‘Grand-rond, balancez!’ and ‘Les cavaliers à genoux et remerciez vos dames!’ FIRS, wearing a tail-coat, brings in seltzer water on a tray. PISHCHIK and TROFIMOV then re-enter the drawing-room …

PISHCHIK. I’ve got rich blood, you see, I’ve already had two strokes – it makes dancing hard work, but you know what they say: if you run with the pack, you can bark if you like, but you’ve got to wag your tail. Anyway, I’m as strong as a horse. My late father, God rest him, was a great joker, and he used to say our ancestors, the original Simeonov-Pishchiks, were all descended from Caligula’s horse, the one he made a senator. (Sits.) Yes, trouble is, we’ve no money. And a hungry dog can’t think of anything but meat … (Starts to snore, but instantly wakes up again.) That’s like me – all I can think about is money.

TROFIMOV. Actually, you do look a bit like a horse.

PISHCHIK. Well, a horse is a fine animal. You can sell a horse.

In the adjoining room, a game of billiards is in progress. VARYA appears under the arch in the ballroom.

TROFIMOV (teasing). Madame Lopakhin! Madame Lopakhin! …

VARYA (angrily). Huh, the mangy gent!

TROFIMOV. That’s right – mangy, and proud of it!

VARYA (bitterly). Oh yes, we can hire musicians, but how are we going to pay them? (Exits.)

TROFIMOV (to PISHCHIK). You know, you’ve spent your whole life looking for money to pay the interest on your debts, but if you’d put all that wasted energy to some other use, you could’ve turned the world upside-down by now.

PISHCHIK. Actually Nietzsche – he’s a famous philosopher, a great man, a huge intellect – he says somewhere that it’s quite all right to forge banknotes.

TROFIMOV. You’ve read Nietzsche?

PISHCHIK. Well, no … it was my Dasha that told me. The position I’m in now, I’d forge them in a minute.

I’ve got to pay out three hundred and ten roubles, day after tomorrow. I’ve managed to get a hundred and thirty so far … (Feels in his pockets, alarmed.) The money’s gone! I’ve lost my money! (In tears.) Oh God, where is it! (Then overjoyed.) Here it is, it’s inside the lining. Look, I’ve broken out in a sweat …

Enter RANEVSKAYA and CHARLOTTA. RANEVSKAYA is humming the ‘Lezginka’, a popular Caucasian folk-tune.

RANEVSKAYA. I wonder what’s keeping Leonid? What’s he doing in town? Dunyasha, see if the musicians would like some tea.

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